Time GBE 2

Time is precious to us all. Sometimes we can forget just how fast time goes by, it doesn't matter if we are trying to slow down our lives, live in the moment, take some time off from work. Time still fly's by in a blink. 

Think about how quickly this year has gone for you? We are only four months away from it being Christmas! That to me is crazy...I mean seriously where has the year gone? 

Time for me means I'm getting older, my boys are growing up faster than I would have liked and that some people who I thought would be around forever are no longer here. 

That's what sucks about time. When is our time up? Do you think some of us know when that time comes and that's it for us? I actually sit sometimes thinking about this, I wonder what my boys will be like as they get older, what their families will be like as they continue to grow on for generations, I wonder what the world will be like and if a genius will solve all the problems and issues around the world to save those future generations. 

I remember as a child when a family member passed away and everyone was talking about the feeling that she knew she'd be climbing into her bed that night and not wake up the following morning. Why did they come to this conclusion? For the first time in forever, she didn't fold her clothes up neatly and put them on her chair in her room. Instead they laid in a crumpled heap on the floor next to the bed. Was that a sign that she knew that evening would be her last? Or did she think "hey I'll be a rebel tonight and deal with it in the morning" yet never get the chance to? 

As a child I always thought that my family would never be gone from my life. You know that innocent mind where you think "they will be here forever and they will never die." As an adult I still liked to cling on to that hope. However we all know that it's not true. 

Through my teens and into my twenty's I watched many people leave this life. Working in bars I guess it was inevitable that those who relied on the alcohol would one day succumb to their bodies giving up and being unable to go on. Death kinda became the norm, we'd go to the funerals, cry at the service and then go back to work. It may sound kinda cold but when you attend several funerals in just one year, you know in your heart that they won't be the last.

However when I received the call to say my grandad had passed on in October 2022, it floored me. Literally floored me. I sat on the floor crying, unable to breathe and the days that passed I just sat in the armchair numb, unattached to the world going on around me, constantly crying and wondering why. Why did he have to leave this world? I thought he'd be here forever. He wasn't ever not meant to be here. 

Time flies by too quickly. 

You blink and that's another day/week/month/year gone by. 

You wake up another year older. 

You go to bed with another grey hair/wrinkle/laughter line that wasn't there before. 

Your children go from wanting toys to the latest trends. 

Your pictures that you hang on your walls make you realise everyone has gotten older or have passed on. 

October will mark a whole year that my grandad has been gone. I know it will still shock me this year when I open cards from my nan with just her name in them, that will be one of things I'll never get used to. 

Time. 

It's one of those things we can't stop or slow down. 

Life will still keep moving at whatever speed it decides on.

The only thing can do is to continue to make memories and to enjoy the memories we already hold close to us.